Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
