Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
