i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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