I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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