in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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