She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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