I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
