I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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