Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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