My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
