Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
