Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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