okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
