Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His nipple licking is glorious
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