i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
