now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
