I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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