So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
