he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
