i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
