How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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