i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
