This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
