i just google imaged poop.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
