My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
