If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
