Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
