My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
