I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
