I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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