Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
