no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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