i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I came so hard my ears popped.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
