im so drunk with asians
where?
always
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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