some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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