okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
