it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
