i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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