it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
