Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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