My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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