I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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