I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
