is your mom at the bar?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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