He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
