you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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