When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
