Don't you send me to vm
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
