i think i have herpe
just one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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