either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
