Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
