is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
