Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
